Huck Finn, now Dire Straits?

It's been a long time since I wanted my MTV -- but right now, I'll take that over the CBSC any day.

In one of the most head-slappingly moronic moves in history, the national embarrassment that is the Canadian Broadcast Standards Council has ruled that Dire Straits' 1985 song Money for Nothing can no longer be played in its original form in Canada -- because one person in Newfoundland was offended over its use of a word that starts with F, rhymes with maggot and refers to gay men.

Never mind that the song is more than 25 years old and has been played countless times. Never mind that the supposedly offensive word is as old as the hills, and used regularly on TV, in books and movies, and by pretty much every kid on the planet.

And never mind that even the most cursory examination of the lyrics -- a jab at the vapidity of music videos, as seen through the eyes of a joe-sixpack character -- makes it obvious to anyone without a head injury that Mark Knopfler is using the term in question humourously and ironically. Money for Nothing is no more homophobic than Mark Twain's Huckleberry Finn is a KKK manifesto. That classic novel is now facing the same sort of narrow-minded censorship south of the border over its use of the notorious N-word.

But sadly, the subtleties of context, satire and irony no longer apply in our burgeoning idiocracy. Hell, thanks in no small part to Alanis Morissette, most people don't even know what irony is. And they don't want to know. They're too busy being mad.

And there's plenty to be mad about these days: Lying leaders drunk with power. Rampant greed destroying our economy. Constant stress ruining our personal lives. Actual hate speech from politicians and pundits hiding behind pious ideas. The general hell-in-a-handbasket direction our whole world seems to be heading. The average person can't do much about those big problems. But he or she has to blame somebody. Or something.

Entertainment is always an easy target. And rubber-stamping bureaucrats are apparently only too glad to shoot that fish in the barrel.

Following the logic (such as it is) of this decision, we can conceivably conclude that from one person being offended by something -- no matter how ridiculous the circumstances -- is now enough to have that thing deemed universally offensive and censored. So where do we go from here? Taken out of context, anything can be offensive.

How long until Elton John's Honky Cat needs to be retitled Caucasian Cat? Or the Rolling Stones' Paint it Black gets censored? Should anyone be allowed to hear OMD's Enola Gay? Josie Cotton's Johnny, Are You Queer? Stompin' Tom Connors Moon Man Newfie?

Does all music have to be dumbed-down for numbskulls and sanitized for the humourless? Does every song ever written have to be scrutinized by a committee that tries to guess what might offend someone now, or in the future? And should that be a committee whose very name includes the word Broad?

Instead, perhaps there's another solution. If you find yourself offended by a word you hear on the radio, turn it off and go do something good. Donate blood. Donate a buck to the charity of your choice. Volunteer at a food bank. Take a walk. Play with your kids.

Or, hey, try watching MTV instead. One peek at Jersey Shore, and Mark Knopfler won't seem quite so bad.

johnny boy

**with thanks to the Tor Sun

RANT #2: Snow is a Pain in My Ass!

Snow.
Except for skiing, snow ball fights, and maybe a sleigh ride, snow sucks.
It sucks to shovel,
It sucks to drive in.
It sucks to walk in.
And - IT SUCKS TO RUN IN.
Ok, truth be told, I actually love to run in snow - except when I have to do an interval set or hard/tempo run. Then, the footing is treacherous and the times I put down reflect that - and that sucks.
I have to hit the track today for some 600's - looking forward to that. But, the initial warm up of 5-6km, which I will do outside on trails unshovelled [hence, uneven and slippery] will not be as much fun. 
And the drive to the track? Don't even get me started! It is an immutable, universal fact: 1mm of snow or more=the lousiest, slowest, craziest, stupidest driving. Why, for god's sake, can drivers', who endure snow EVERY year, not learn - we need a new paradigm.
And then it starts to melt and we have slush hell...
Ok, now I feel better - off to track tonight, unless Balto needs help out there.


don't eat yellow snow
Johnny Boy

"Oh, you said go RIGHT"

This video of Japanese runner Natsuki Terada taking a wrong turn at the end of the Tokyo-Hakone ekiden relay marathon has gone viral, with many posters calling Terada a fool for his wayward jaunt. One news commentator said of this: “I’ve never heard of that happening,” but there have been many examples of runners veering off-course in races. The four top finishers were DQed in this race. Note that Terada recovered enough to finish 10^th overall in the relays, securing a berth for his team in next year’s race - so not quite the “fail” that many video links are calling it.

And another, this one at the Flying Pig half-marathon:

The most famous of all wrong-turners has to be Mexico’s German Silva in the 1994 New York City Marathon:

So, pay attention to the course...

Johnny Boy

(**with credit to Canadian Running)

Who Doesn't?

Ah, harkening back to my frat days...

off for a run,

Johnny Boy

Can-Russia Gold Medal Game- How it Should Have Ended

So - the Canadian Jr Team had an epic collapse in the 3rd period last night at the World Junior Championships in Buffalo; 5 unanswered - and unexpected - goals by the Russians. With 17 minutes left to celebrate Gold, we lost, 5-3.

Damn.

The boys played so well - with grit, determination, skill and heart - but at the end, the Russian team just had that little bit extra. Well played, lads, well played.

So - how did I see the game finishing? Well, since the Gold vanished, how about this (click link for a good old fashioned BRAWL!!!):

old-time-hockey.

Brings back memories of Bobby Clarke in the '72 Summit series; maybe, just maybe, we could have used ol' Mr. Clarke's "unique" style of motivating his team:

Makes we want to head out and play some shinny.


skate fast
Johnny Boy

New Year's Resolution: be better

It’s that time of year where we swear off sugar, vow to be a regular at the gym and announce to friends and family our grand plans to get into tip top shape. It’s that time of year where we realize we are right back where we started last January.

Very few of us are setting a get in shape or get healthy goal for the first time. We stand at the precipice of the New Year and declare that “this year is THE YEAR!” And we mean it. We believe it. We have every intention of pulling it off. We don’t set out to fail, but we often do. Should we just say “forget it”? Decide we can just live with this body as is? Accept that this is as good as it gets? Nope. Wanting to be healthy, and let’s be honest: wanting to be hot, is not the problem. The problem is often the bigness of our grand plan.

The goal is big: transform our sluggish selves into the fit, lean, vibrant, energetic, sexy person we’ve always wanted tobe. A big goal like that needs a big plan: giving up sugar, alcohol and carbs; working out 6 or more times per week; signing up to run a race or other event; giving up our Friday night drinks with friends; and learning to say no to all your cravings and bad ol’ habits.

It’s tough – but that’s what it takes. We have to be overwhelmed, do a complete overhaul, make sweeping changes.

Right?

Sometimes an abrupt shift is just what we need….but sometimes, most of the time actually, we need to take a slower, more steady approach.  Just look at your gym this week, it’s packed with new faces. Then look again in March or April – it will soon back to the same crowd that was there in December, save a few new converts.  So the big, grand New Year’s resolution to lose weight doesn’t work so well.

But this doesn’t mean we are doomed to feel badly about our bodies and that we’ll never make the kinds of changes that give us the look and health we want, it means we need to change our plan about how to get it. Take a little of the bigness out of it.

So what’s the only resolution you need to keep? It’s not to never have dessert or never miss a workout. It’s simple, sustainable and will give you quick and lasting results.  Dying to know? It will surprise you: simply do better than you did yesterday.

Today shouldn’t be so hard right? After days of holiday cookies and too much champagne New Year’s Eve, choose a big salad with protein for dinner tonight and take a walk. Today? It’s already better than yesterday. Then the next day, do a little more.  Go grocery shopping for the week and cook more meals in than dining out. Hit the gym. Then do a little more. Look into a new class, go “more” organic, and drink more water.

Just keep doing better every day, bit by bit and come this time next year you’ll be loving your fit, healthy body; be a regular at your gym; and have mastered 100s of new healthy habits.  Most of us already have a very full plate – and our resolutions often add more and more to our schedule. See what can go, what’s really important and what activites will actually get you closer to where you want to go.

Then just remember: you don’t have to be perfect every day. You just need to be better.

Run, ah, Forrest, Run?

Now, try the actual game/computer synth: QWOP - the "real" thing. "The goal is simple: control the legs of a track runner named Qwop as he attempts to spring 100 metres. The catch: your only controls are the four keyboard keys, Q, W, O and P, each moving different calf and thigh muscles. The results are as frustrating as they are hilarious"
Okay, okay - I know this is dumb, but what the hell, over 2 million people have spent $1 (oooh, I'm sorry: 99 cents) to buy some stupid App for their Iphone - "Angry Birds".
I managed to get 1.6meters before I shut down my Mac and in order to do something meaningful (Season 5 of Dexter of my computrainer. Training with a serial killer - now that is a useful way to spend time! ).
Stupid is as stupid does.


stumble on
johnny boy

MENJO!! 26:56 10km

Josphat Menjo 26:56 10k

Play video

Josphat Menjo:  The unheralded star of 2010 Unless you count yourself a relatively serious follower of running (by which I mean you  visit athletics-specific websites regularly), you are unlikely to be familiar with the name  Josphat Menjo.  He hasn't appeared on television in 2010, but I have been fortunate  enough to see all the Diamond League meetings.  Nor has he won any major titles.   But, he has just produced one of the iconic running seasons in recent history Not "iconic" in the same way that 1995 was for Haile Gebrselassie when he broke  multiple world records, and won a world title.  Or that 2008 was for Kenenisa Bekele,  winning a double gold in Beijing. No, Menjo's success came in three tiny races in Finland, in a span of 11 days in August,  when he ran 12:55.95 for 5,000m, 26:56.74 for 10,000m, and 3:53.62 for one mile.  The 10,000m time is the fastest of 2010, displacing Chris Solinsky's earlier effort, and most remarkable of all, all three performances were solo, front-running efforts without any competition or pacemakers. The impact of having "company" is difficult to measure.  We've actually tried to study the effect of competition on performance, but it's near impossible to design the study to do it accurately.  There's no way to gauge how competitive an athlete is to begin with, and then providing the right incentive often proves impossible.  Some athletes probably slow  down under pressure of another runner on their shoulder.  So it's anyone's guess how  many seconds a rival might be worth over 25 or 12.5 laps, but a bigger stage, better  pacing and a race should see Menjo improve by seconds, rather than milliseconds. Those races came after Menjo could not crack an invitation to a Diamond League race  because his times coming into 2010 were too slow - outside 13 minutes for 5,000m.  So, helped by a Finnish manager, he embarked on a solo effort that created for him a cult  following of sorts among athletics followers. By this time next year, he may well be "mainstream".  Since his Finnish exploits, he's beaten Eliud Kipchoge and Said Shaheen in Belgrade, and won the Zatopek 10,000m race in  Australia recently.  Perhaps his only obstacle to running truly great times is that he'll  over-race in an effort to make up for lost time (and earnings).  But, if he is even in the  same kind of condition, then he'll be a name you'll hear much more in 2011. Menjo is not a complete newcomer to the sport - he has won medals at All-Africa Games events, but those are so low-key they barely register.  And besides, when you are running in Kenya, even a 27:30 barely warrants a mention, so common are those kinds of  performances.  It's actually a scary thought that if the resources could support them,  the number of Kenyan athletes with the potential to break 27 minutes would probably  be at least double what we see now.  However, many are "lost" because the athlete isn't  quite successful to make it big, and doesn't have the opportunity to tweak the training  enough to get there.  Menjo did, and will hopefully see the prize in 2011. To read a little more on Josphat Menjo, check out this great write-up. It has some great  quotes, including how Menjo turned down pacemakers for his 10,000m race. And finally, since it is the fastest 10km time of the year, and because you may never have seen the athlete producing here, here is a video (above) of the last three laps of that  performances.  You will see just how small a race it was, how empty the stadium is, and  wonder how the addition of 30,000 people and world-class competition would not help  Menjo run faster.  Let's hope that 2011 provides the answer. run fast Johnny Boy