Rant #3: Self Seeding and Egos

Ok - rant #3 - self seeding.

Yes - self seeding. There, I said it again.

What in the world, aside from (i) stupidity, (ii) ego and/or (iii) a combination of stupidity and ego - possesses people in races to start right on the line WHEN THEY SUCK???!!!

It happens every race I enter - there are always one or two runners [or triathletes - more on that below] who who insist on creeping up, all the way up, to stand with their toes on the starting line.

Now, don't get me wrong: I myself am by no means racing elite/pro times, and am aware of the fact if I stand dead centre and on the line, I am going to get passed [or tripped and elbowed, and not in that order!] within about .7 seconds! It does not take a brain surgeon to figure out that if you are standing among 2 dozen skinny, racing-flat-wearing, angry, anxious and really-friggin'-fast looking guys [and gals], well, chances are they are likely (likely, but there are occasional posers, but let us disregard them for this rant!) - they are pretty much faster than you.

Case in point - I raced the Toronto Marathon 5km a few weeks ago.

There were no corrals to assist with seeding - it was "mano a mano", but, most of us in the first three or four rows "self seeded". You look around, ask what someone will likely run, and step aside if they are going sub 15...like a capitalist market economy [can you say "Reaganomics"?], we self regulate.

But not everyone; no, that would be tooooo easy.

Dead centre on the starting line, two overweight, jeans-wearing, flannel-shirt-clad women, just stood there. Hell, I think they were also wearing those old Cougar boots with the orange tongues that the skanky girls used to tuck their striped Jordache jeans into (ya, they were that old). Um, someone said, you ladies may want to sort of move over to the side 'cause there are some pretty fast people all around and behind you (I personally wanted to say something but was worried they may throw a smack down and they outweighed me and my (SHAMELESS PLUG) Brooks T7 by about 40lbs - discretion is indeed the better part of valor). Their response was blunt and to the point: "no - we paid the same amount you did and we have every right to stand where we want" Blah blah blah blah.

No one else dared or wanted to continue pissing into the wind on this issue, and so, sure enough, the guns goes off and within a nanosecond or three, they were caught up in the frenzied start like sand in a wave (I just thought of that simile - pretty catchy, no?).

And down they went - as I passed by them a few feet away, out of the corner of my eye I saw the larger Hudson Bay blanket wearing momma-runner hit pavement like the Titanic smacking the first 'berg (that would be my second simile).

Howls of protest, fading as my lightning feet whisked me far, far away, were heard from both. Sucks to be you, a few guys up front wryly noted; too bad, so sad, was the general theme.

None of us was being elitist; no one was saying that these 2 should not come out and run or race. Rather, it was simply a question of common sense and a small amount of good judgment - which was clearly lacking with the Hoser Twins, Barb and Diane McKenzie. Look around and use your head was all that was being suggested.

Would you stand on the cusp of a Double Black Diamond at Sunshine if you had only ever skied at Mt St Louis on the bunny hill? Would you take an F-18 Hornet out for a spin if you had just finished your first flying lesson? Dive the Mariana Trench after an introductory scuba course at Club Med pool? No. No And no. So why risk fate, get in everyone's way, and ruin your own experience, all too stand up front in a fast running race?

Stupid is as stupid does.

Now, triathletes do the same thing - be it an Ironman or Sprint, there are always "athletes" who start up front on the swim start and would have trouble drown-proofing to the finish. Why? God only knows - but in deep, open water, it is not only stupid, it is really dangerous...

these are probably the same people who insist on jogging and walking in Lane 1 at the track; who do side stroke and elementary backstroke in the Fast Lane at the pool, and then getty pissy when you either (i) suggest politely they may enjoy their swim more in Lane 12 [haha - pools are at most 8 lanes] or (ii) pass them down the middle and when they stop at the wall in the middle of your flip turn, bellow at the lifegurds that you are "interfering with their swim".

As my old friend Jack Nicholson so regally stated in his speech as President in Mars Attacks: "why can't we all just get along".

And use some common sense.

run fast

Johnny Boy