Seriously - you gotta read the article above - it is one of those rare pieces of journalism that will capture you, and, best of all, leave with you potentially life saving information, esp. if you live in a big metropolitan city like, say, Toronto, Paris, Chicago or Beijing.
Because you just never know when you will need to know exactly how to defend yourself from a raging angry billy goat (one of my favourite tv shows is in fact "When Billy Goats go Bad").
I also found it amusing (ironic) that the author of this piece is a resident of New York City - see the tag line at the end of the article.
Really, there wasn't one staff writer in all of Washington who could have pumped this piece out? Not one? And people out West are always complaining aboout the East, esp. the Big Apple (where I had the true good fortune of living for nearly 3 years), as being insensitive to the uniqueness of those living in the mountains. Well, they had their chance here - if a local from Olympic National Park doesn't know more about how to fend off an irate billy goat than an urban dweller form the East, well then, that's gruff. As in "billy goat gruff".
But, like all things in this blog, there is a relationship to running:
once, a short time ago (it was like 7 years ago, but in dog or goat years, that in only 1 year), I spent 2 glorious years in the Rockies, living in Calgary.
I was in HEAVEN - I lived moments from the trail system that runs through the city so could do all my runs thru the woods; I could ride for hours - when training for Ironman Austria (a course with several long, leg crushing 9% mountain climbs and Hayter-like fast descents), I would go out my front door and turn right on Highway 22, riding thru Kanasaskis to the mtns; when I was training for Ironman Florida (a wicked fast flat course) I would go left on Highway 22 and ride towards the flat roads leading to Saskatchewan. The latter was, by design, boring - but effective.
Ah, you say devilishly, Calgary is land locked: where did you practice your open water swims? Not so fast, Grasshopper, I reply: the gods were smiling on that move West. I lived 2 blocks from a private lake our house shared with only those in our little private (read: "gated") utopia - 4km around its edges, no motor boats, spring fed....as I said, HEAVEN! (and for what it's worth, both Ironmans that year went really well, with pb's at both). But I digress.
So - our first week out West, we stayed with friend's at their mtn cabin in Canmore. Aside from seriously sucking O2 on my runs, as the lowlands of Toronto had NOT prepared me for the change in altitude, I also experienced more culture shock that was based on the East/West paradigm - to wit:
I was running my 1st day in jaw dropping beauty of the mountains, reveling in the vistas of the peaks and desperately ignoring the searing agony in my oxygen starved lungs, when I came across an idling RCMP car at the entrance to a further series of trails I was hoping to cruise. Being the polite and highly social guy I am, I stopped and said hi. The two cops in the car were quite pleasant, esp. on learning I was a lawyer from Toronto [or should I note "in spite of" being a lawyer from Toronto] ; one even offered the inside tip that I suspected would be quite useful in the Calgary social scene: "watch out for Cougars when on the trails here" the female officer suggested wryly. I laughed it off, noting how I was a T.O. boy and was sure i could handle some 40 yr old female (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=cougar) trying to hustle me on the running trails ...hell, might even make for an epic: "Dear Forum" story. The 2 cops looked at me like the idiot I am and the other, raised his hands to his chest and mimicking a pouncing animal, gave a fair rendition of animal roaring (as in "RRRRRR"). It was at that point that, using all the deductive skills I gleaned from 3 yrs in law school (albeit in the East, which from the 2 cops' perspective probably explained everything), I realized they were actually not describing Demi Moore, but an actual, honest-to-god, rip-out-your-throat when it pounces, COUGAR.
Guess I could have used the article on how to protect myself from wild mtn goats.
peace out,
Johnny Boy
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